We all know almost every little girl at one time in her life pretends that she is a Princess who is the fairest in the land and the one who is desired by the Prince.  All too often young girls of color had to add another layer of dreaming when imagining fitting the magical slipper.  They also had to pretend that their hair was as golden as Cinderella’s or envision their nose as keen as Snow White’s.  This can be challenging when that is the standard of beauty society often uses to judge girls by.  Well, Princess Tiana is bringing a broader nose and a bit of pigment to the party. The wonderful actress, Anika Noni Rose, who provides the voice and spirit of the animated Princess, told me how proud she is to be able to bring this important role model to life.  Yes, role model.  Often storybook characters are the first heroes and heroines for our children and Rose knows that now little girls of color will know that when they are at school or birthday parties they too will have a likeness to point to and say “that’s me!”

Tiana will hopefully reach the iconic status that many of her animated predecessors have reached.  She will serve as an early image for girls to aspire to emulate.  She will be a mirror of beauty and give confidence to young girls who have too few images of strong, pretty confident girls of color.  We really shouldn’t think of this as a cute but unimportant “kiddy” movie.  The Princess and the Frog has the potential to become more than a pop culture favorite, but a pop culture influence that will give girls of color confidence and strength. 

 The movie also shows the importance of a father in a girl’s life.  Too often fathers are not seen as nurturers, but this movie shows how vital a father is in instilling values and confidence in his daughter.  It illustrates the lasting impression a man has on a young woman’s growth.

In November, Daddy’s Promise teamed with Disney and Liquid Soul Media to host three events (Chicago, Atlanta and Washington, D.C.) in conjunction with the movie.  Each was an afternoon of fun for fathers and daughters as we celebrated this special relationship.  Each event was filled with nearly a thousand fathers and daughters celebrating their love for one another.  We had cooking demonstrations, hula-hoop contests, food, games, and face painting. Fathers and daughters were given a chance to have a caricature drawn of themselves and a father-daughter portrait taken on-site. The smiles, fun and excitement were infectious.

I had a chance to talk about the importance of the images the movie will show, but I also suggested that the biggest impact of the movie should be off the screen.  I talked about the fact that some people had been caught up in the “color” of the Prince and some even questioned if Tiana is black enough.  It’s important not to get caught up in this.  Yes, a Black Princess is a long time coming and yes, you might be able to nitpick some details (as you can with most movies.) But, the real importance of this movie is not on the screen but behind it.  We need to make sure our daughters (and sons) know about Bruce Smith, an African-American who is one of the lead animators of the film.  We need to introduce our children to the idea of creating our images and running our own studios and telling our own tales. 

So go see this movie.  Enjoy it with your kids.  Don’t take for granted what this can do for the self-confidence of a generation of young ladies. Don’t let it serve only as a fairy tale.  Let this be a guide to a whole generation of girls who are confident in their beauty and intelligence.  Girls who know their fathers are important in their lives and that they can and should strive to reach all of their dreams…like all good princesses.

 Click here to post your comments about The Image Of A Princess

We worked tirelessly to make the dance a day to remember for fathers and daughters and hoped that it would be a big hit. I went on Steve Harvey’s radio show three weeks before the dance to promote it and within a couple of hours the dance was sold out!!!!!!! We knew from our past events throughout the year that Daddy’s Promise is filling a void. We also discovered that there are many families that want to celebrate the special relationship that a father and daughter share, but having the dance sell out in such a short time pleasantly surprised all of us; in fact, it floored us!

Sometimes when you work on something for a long period, it doesn’t always meet your expectations. This was not the case for the dance. From celebrities Vivica Fox and Sherri Shepherd -both of whom joined us with their fathers, to singer, Will Downing who sang his song, Beautiful to Me, that he wrote for his daughter and lent to us for our theme song, to the volunteers who made the day run smoothly, everyone gave of their time and spirit. When Cupid hit the stage and started his smash hit, The Cupid Shuffle, everyone hit the floor. DJ Beverly Bond kept the tunes coming and we all saluted special guests Je’Niece McCullough (Bernie Mac’s daughter) and Ilyasah Shabazz (Malcolm X’s daughter) who honored the memory of their late fathers and graciously received “thanks” from everyone for sharing their fathers with the world.

The love in the room was palpable. From father with babies in arms to those who came with their 50-something adult daughters, everyone shared in love and fun that day! From the food, to the dancing, to the laughter watching little daughters and some “older” ones- ya’ll need to quit – go down our Soul Train line, the day was filled with joy.

At the end of the dance, the ladies (Carol, Toya and Leslie) who helped put everything together and I, were tired and spent, but most of all we were elated. We were elated that we had turned a vision into reality, elated that we had a successful event, and most of all elated that we had brought a bit of joy to families.

We intend to move into the fall with more events, the first being a panel in September during the Congressional Black Caucus Legislative weekend in Washington, D.C. We will also have more exciting events that we will announce later (keep checking http://www.daddyspromise.com for details).

So let me answer the question so many asked at the end of the dance…Yes, we intend to do the dance again. We want the dance to become an annual event. I can’t wait to do it again and watch everyone get back on the floor and let the good times roll.

 A Special Father’s Day Note:

This is the time we get celebrated. With Father’s Day, we are given love from those around us. We are taken to Outback or McDonald’s, or some other place that will give us some red meat, for being “The World’s Best Dad,” and don’t forget the great gifts (OK, sometimes they get it right!)

But, while everyone is telling you how great you are (are you’re buying it) don’t forget to also savor the time and relationship you have with your children. These are the times that in the end matter the most.

Happy Father’s Day!

Click here to post your comments about the 2009 Father Daughter Dance

Click here to view photos from the dance

But, as a father of a fifteen-year-old daughter, who like many her age had a crush on the talented Mr. Brown I say BS!!! There is no need to really know anything more than: Did he do it? Did he lay his hands on this young woman? If so…’nuff said. Here again, one more argument for getting back to the old school teachings that kept us in good stead for a long time. Some things aren’t gray. Some teachings and lessons shouldn’t be seen as outdated thoughts of a generation gone by. One of those wisdoms is “never lay your hands on a woman.” That used to be one of the first instructions people used to share with boys coming up.

So much symbolism has occurred since Barack Obama won one of the most engaging elections in this country’s history. Beyond the obvious visual statement of a black man taking this nation’s helm he has also given image to another very important role, Fatherhood! He is making it “cool” to be a caring and loving father. His hands on involvement with his two daughters will go a long way in saying to men, as he has on the campaign trail, you must be present in the lives of your children. 

By taking his daughters to school or making sure he saw them on Halloween, in spite of being in the middle of a fight for the most powerful seat in the world, he set an example that no matter what is going on in your life you have to make time for your children. “Fellas,” this makes it a little difficult to tell your little girl you’re too busy to hang out with her or take her to a dance. Let’s make sure we follow the President-elect’s lead and show the nation that our next President is one of many black men who are engaged in their daughters’ lives.

I sat with Barack Obama a number of times during his historic Presidential run. During one of those interviews I asked him about what he hopes for his daughters’ future. He, like most fathers, wants to see his girls have the same chance and opportunity as any one.  

As he leads this nation into a critical time for recovery and healing, let’s not lose sight that he is doing the same for fatherhood. He is by example showing us how to be good fathers.

Now, an update on the initiative…

I am humbled by the acceptance of the project. It can really be best described by the words of one of America’s greatest songwriters, William “Smokey” Robinson. His lyrics from the hit “It’s Growing” (made famous by The Temptations) aptly tells the story of Daddy’s Promise.

Smokey wrote:
Like a snow ball rolling down the side of a snow-covered hill it’s growing.
Like the size of the fish that the man claims broke his reel it’s growing.
Like the rose bud blooming in the warmth of the summer sun it’s growing.
Like the tale by the time its been told by more then one it’s growing.

I am really glad to say we can add our initiative to that poetic list.  We now boast thousands of people that have viewed our video on YouTube. Almost one thousand people have sent pictures for our web site photo album. Many of you have dropped us a line to share your thoughts and hundreds of thousand have logged on to the site. It has been very gratifying for me, and the team, to see the hearts we have touched.

In fact, so many of you made it clear that you wanted to be a part of Daddy’s Promise that we have created a tour that is going to churches and colleges across the country to spread the news of the importance of this special bond between a father and his daughter.

Our church tour kicked-off in my hometown of Detroit and we couldn’t have asked for a better start. 3,000 people attended service at Second Ebenezer Church as we talked of the importance of fathers being active participants in raising their daughters. During the service hundreds of men stood, with their daughters, and recited the Daddy’s Promise pledge. What a powerful site that was. There are few things like a father publicly giving his love to his “baby”.
The day didn’t end there. After the service, we had a cooking station sponsored by Bounty to show men and their daughters how to have fun in the kitchen and how to eat healthy. We also had father-daughter portraits taken on site and our ice cream sundae station became a quick favorite. We hope to replicate this teaching and fun in many cities in the months to come. In fact, we’ll visit The Potter’s House in Dallas this month.

We’ve also been going universities to talk with young people about why parenting is important and the full dynamic of the male-female relationship. We’re bringing fascinating groups of people (to each campus) to share their thoughts and stories as we talk candidly; discussing what hasn’t always “really” been talked about! We spoke to full houses when we brought all-star panels to Morehouse in Atlanta and Cheyney in Philly.

Finally, emotion was the name of the game when another all-star panel and packed crowd gathered in Washington, D.C. during the Congressional Black Caucus. In the second of three special Ford-sponsored town halls, frank discussion, raw emotions and tears of joy and sorrow were the order of the day.

There is a lot more to come, including a national Father/Daughter dance (see home page for a chance to win a trip) we’re planning for this summer in New York City. Stay tuned for more about that soon and make sure you look for us to come to your city.

 Comment now on Ed Talks…Click here to post your comments

First, let me say “Amazing” and “Thanks.” When I started the Daddy’s Promise initiative, I had great hopes for it. I knew there would be people who would immediately connect with it. I just never imagined to this degree. The response has been phenomenal! Over 120-thousand people have visited the web site. We’ve had hundreds of you email pictures to be included in our national photo album. In fact, the first few days brought so many pictures that we had to play catch-up. Thanks for being patient.

Please remember, we are just starting! We have much more to come. Look for some great contests and special events in the coming months. We are also growing the entire initiative, so return to daddyspromise.com often for exciting news.

From the day we announced the initiative at the annual 100 Black Men of America’s Conference in Orlando on June 12, we have seen the want for people to show the importance of the father/daughter bond. We kicked off with a panel discussion of frank and sometimes personal conversations about what this relationship is and should mean to Black America.

My great thanks to TV personality Judge Glenda Hatchett, Singer Will Downing and Journalists Roland Martin and George Curry who shared blunt stories and engaged the audience in a very spirited discussion.

Ironically, that same Father’s Day weekend, Senator Barack Obama, the presumptive Democratic nominee for the Presidency of the United States challenged some black fathers to make sure they do the “right thing” by staying involved in the lives of their children. He received criticism from some who suggested the he was blaming the victim and ignoring the problems that plague some black men. It was the same criticism that Bill Cosby received when he has taken some in the black community to task for lack of personal responsibility.

I say both of these men are making people look in the mirror and face some of their warts. Neither man has suggested that the world is always fair in it’s treatment of black people. Both acknowledge the role ignorance and prejudice play in how black men are perceived and treated. They also concede that continued discrimination holds back a great number of brothers. But, both men suggest, as I did on a recent Essence/CNN televised panel, that personal responsibility must be a part of the mix and that the cry for greater social accountability from “our” community must be louder.

Some have suggested that this is a pointing the finger approach. Let me make it clear, Daddy’s Promise is far from that! We by no means are suggesting that all black men are negligent. In fact, the first role of Daddy’s Promise is to give a platform and public salute to the MANY black men who are being what they should be; fantastic fathers (just take a look at our photo album!) Daddy’s Promise will serve as a catalyst to encourage those men who are being strong fathers to continue proudly.

That being said, we also want to nudge those who aren’t, for whatever reason, playing their role. They must rise above and join the growing ranks of men who are saying out loud “we are doing the right thing!”

To those of you who have said you want to be a “part” of Daddy’s Promise…STAND BY. We are working with 100 Black Men of America and a number of churches and colleges across the country to bring events and programs that will celebrate and illuminate this special relationship.

There are some frequently asked questions that I want to address. First, some people questioned whether or not this movement is exclusively for black fathers and daughters. No, is the short answer. While this project is designed to shine the light primarily on black father and daughters we certainly know that the great bond that exists between a man and his “little girl” goes much deeper than skin color. So, if you want to show your fatherly pride or salute your ole’ man, no matter what color, please join our family.

What about boys? That is another question that has been raised by a number of people. I have said that parenting is something that is crucial and both boys and girls need the love and supervision of preferably both parents. Too often boys aren’t taught how to be a man and are stumbling toward manhood.

This is another huge problem that we are grappling with as a society. But, since I was blessed with a girl my focus and the focus of this initiative is on the father/daughter relationship.

However, I have a number of young men in my life that I am “helping” raise and I know the importance and need for men to be a part of these boys’ lives. Daddy’s Promise is committed by example (showing and teaching how to be a responsible man.) We hope to team with others who are offering projects to strengthen the father/son bond. In doing so, we hope to make the entire fabric of the black community stronger.

The question of young girls without fathers in their lives has also been raised. “What are you doing for them?” That’s a hard one because unfortunately we can’t make their fathers magically appear. What we are trying to do is, first, make sure these girls know it’s not on them to shoulder the burden that daddy hasn’t been around. We also want to say that while no one can replace your biological father, other father figures can play a key role in your life. We are working on a project that will try to bring fathers and their daughters into the lives of girls who don’t have a father present.

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, we want to encourage men who haven’t been there for their daughters to change that.

I recently spoke with one man who said he hadn’t talked to his daughter in awhile and didn’t know what he should do. I told him the first thing to do was to put his ego aside and call her.

Sometimes changing things doesn’t have to be complex. Re-establishing a torn relationship isn’t as easy as just making a phone call, but one thing is for sure, you can’t make any change unless you start. That is an absolute!

Remember, each month I’ll have something new in this space including interviews with some very interesting people. Next month, look for what Barack Obama told me about what he wants for his daughters’ future.

Every month I will have a little something here for you! It may be my thoughts or an interview with an intriguing guest or…well, you’ll just have to come back and see.

I wanted the first posting to convey just how precious time is. Since my daughter’s birth, I‘ve found out that the old adage “time flies” is true! You hear it growing up and like most young people you take it for granted. You write it off as something “Old People” say. And then, you see it right before your eyes. That ol’ saying is the truth!

It really does seem like yesterday I “velcroed” Taylor’s first little gym shoes on her feet. Today, I am wistfully reminiscing those days. She will enter high school next year and is very much a young lady already. How did that happen so quickly?

So please, don’t lose the moments. Too often fathers find themselves too busy, too self-consumed or, truthfully, too trifling to make sure they share in many of the moments that mark a lifetime. These are moments you can’t get back. Moments you can’t recapture. The time you spend with your daughter is irreplaceable. It is also invaluable to her and to YOU. The occasions spent together riding in the car, watching a movie or just talking as you eat an ice cream cone shape both of you. So, if she is three or 33, take some time and hangout with her. Get to know her and who she is (and in turn who you are.)

Remember, men must have a role in shaping their child’s life. We often overlook the impact we have on the lives of others…especially our children.

Daddy’s Promise is here to salute those men who have stepped up and been strong forces in the lives of their daughters. We are also here to encourage those who have not been the influence they can, should and must be.

Throughout the year we are going to keep the call going through efforts, images and projects. But, most importantly we “Brothas” are going to speak with a collective voice and let everyone know; WE ARE HERE TO GIVE A LIFETIME OF LOVE TO OUR “BABY GIRLS.”

WE PROMISE!

Finally, I want to say “Thank YOU!!” to our headline sponsor Bounty and our national tour sponsor Ford. Both companies came on board and are showing their commitment to this initiative. Also, thanks to our community partner 100 Black Men for taking a stand and showing that black men can and will “do the right thing.”